About Mike Murphy
I’ve been practicing as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) therapist in Taos, New Mexico since 2013. I earned a master’s degree in Psychology Counseling from Alaska Pacific University in Anchorage Alaska in 2008. After the birth of my first child in 2011 my wife and I moved from Alaska to New Mexico to escape the endless winters.
Graduating from Maine’s Colby College in 1993 I saved some money and headed west, without a plan. I landed in Arizona, then Montana, before heading to Alaska where I lived for the next twenty years. The Alaskan winters kicked my ass and I struggled with clinical depression for some time, alternating between manic summers and depressive winters. After getting some help I then shifted into struggling with anxiety, in part around my endeavor of running a seasonal guide service (hiking) within Wrangell St. Elias National Park.
Only after moving to New Mexico and going through a divorce did I truly begin to turn my life around. A true believer in the Hero’s Journey, I answered a call within that told me things needed to change. Reaching out for help I quit marijuana and beer drinking, explored and learned to utilize my own spiritual beliefs, and grounded myself in gratitude and service to others.
I continue to strive towards stepping into and living as the best version of myself. I’m committed to walking through my fears, insecurities, and remnants of low self-worth which can still rear their heads.
Parenting
While working as a new therapist for Valle del Sol of New Mexico, with children and their parents as his clients, I went through a divorce that brought me to my low of lows. My decision to change things came after taking a shared bath with my 3-year-old son and realizing I was not present at all, I’d forgotten my son was in the bathtub with me. I also experienced being too busy and too tired (lifetime pattern) to give my son the attention and support my son needed and deserved. The more I put himself and my life together the more parenting became an avenue of self-empowerment rather than something that played a role in fueling my despair, feelings of victimization, and regret.
As a therapist I learned the principles of Love & Logic and Circle of Security parenting, teaching parents the skills while also putting them to use with my own child. Much of what I teach now is based on the principles of these parenting approaches. It’s my belief I can most help children by helping their parents.
Addiction
I am an addict. Although it’s been over six years since I’ve smoked any marijuana or drank a beer I continue to work on staying on the other side of my addiction. My active addiction life was ‘o.k.’, I managed. Truthfully, I never knew what the problem was, I simply thought something was fundamentally wrong with me. Life was characterized by extreme highs and extreme lows, resentments towards the world and others, feelings of victimization and self-abuse. My inability to stop escaping through drugs was one of many problems.
Over nine years ago I thankfully made a decision to get help. I was desperate for things to change. I started with a substance-abuse therapist, who soon pointed me in the direction of Narcotics Anonymous (NA), which I resisted until finally acknowledging that I couldn’t stay clean on my own. Seeing a therapist once a week wasn’t enough. I remain part of NA, working with a sponsor, sponsoring others, doing service work, and attending meetings weekly.
For me, freedom from addiction means not getting upset over things outside my control. It is taking full responsibility for my life, not blaming others for how I feel. It’s living in gratitude instead of self-pity. It’s being honest in all areas of my life, with all people. It’s learning how to develop and maintain healthy relationships. It’s loving and accepting myself, faults and all.